


Light Me Up

by prayfordean



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2016-06-26
Packaged: 2018-07-18 07:04:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7304407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prayfordean/pseuds/prayfordean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One night, Baz is thankful he's up to chat with Simon</p>
            </blockquote>





	Light Me Up

Baz -

Simon Snow is an unstoppable force; one that will surely obliterate anything and everything in his path if he so wishes. Inevitably we will all become the rubble that lays waste in his footsteps. However, I am more than certain that he’s already crushed me to bits under his foot. I knew that the day we laid eyes on each other. 

He lays in his bed. I lay in mine, eyes glued to the ceiling. Perhaps if Simon willed himself, he could burn a hole through it with those fiery eyes of his. I turn on my side and take in what little I can see beyond me. Why can’t I gather up the courage to cross this moat and enter his palace? (Without a doubt I’d make his bed the home I’d longed for)

I shift once more, which surprisingly awakens Simon. I was sure he was asleep? Insomnia didn’t quite take refuge in him, so what was he plotting? I steady myself, my eyes flickering between the wands on our nightstand and the mountain of blankets shedding to reveal Simon. If he dared to pull a move on him, the anathema would prevent it. Crowley, who was I fooling? I would never engage in a fight with him, unless of course destiny called. However, even then I would deny it. I could never raise my wand to him. I’d end myself before I’d allow that to to to fruition. 

“Baz sit up. I want to talk” he hummed, rubbing the back side of his neck. (I’ve dreamed of planting kisses all over that smooth skin) (I’ve dreamed of blooming roses that show off my claim to him)

I oblige, of course. His words tug at me like a marionette. I am at his every beck and call, and it took me years to finally accept that fate. If Simon so wished it, I’d fling myself into the sun and melt into nothingness. 

(If he buried his face between my legs it’d do the same to me)

“What do you want at this hour, Snow?” My mouth aches at the words dripping from it. No, he’s not Snow. He’s Simon. I’m a damned fool for never giving myself the honor of speaking that holy name. It’s been four years too long of our bickering. I need to get my act together before it’s too late! What if it already was? Oh, that wasn’t what I needed to bear in my heart right now. I shift my gaze as Simon matches my position. 

Simon -

I can’t take it much longer. If those divine, deadly eyes gazed at me for another moment I may lose myself. 

As I call out to Baz, I can only pray he’s going to comply. To my fortune, he’s actually awake. Oh thank goodness! This made things so much easier for me. I clear my throat and prop myself up on one arm. Seeing Baz so willing was a nice change as well.  
“There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you…” I begin, pursing my lips as I wrangle my thoughts. Will I regret asking this? Will Baz just laugh in my face and shoot down what’s been plaguing me? Only one way to find out.

“Have you ever kissed anyone?”

The silence between us was taking a stab right at my gut. Yet, there was no laughter, there weren’t any jokes thrown out. Baz rested his hands back on the bed. I’m drawn back to the conversation and my worries are ushered away with his response. 

I hear him let out a huff. “You seriously woke me up for a question like that?”

“It was just a question, Baz. Don’t be an arse about it….sorry I even asked. Good night”. I flop back down unceremoniously onto my bed and tug my pillow into my arms. 

Baz - 

“Have you ever kissed anyone?”

I’ve saved that blessing for you, and you alone. My dreams are filled to the brim with your plump, soft lips. It’s all I’ve longed for and it’s taking its toll on me as the days float past us.

Thanks to my foul mouth, I spit out my usual retort. Only this time, the knife twists an extra round into my heart and I quickly recoil in on myself. Why did I have to spout that off!? Am I digging my own grave? No, this wasn’t how I wanted it to end. The moment was placed before me and I decimated it. I could bring it back; I had to.

Beyond my better judgement I leap off my bed and begin to crawl onto Simon’s. (My dreams have left me prepared for the reality of this)

It’s so odd. How could his bed be so much more inviting than mine? I grip at one of his wrists and as a test to the anathema, I tug at him until he’s finally sitting up again. 

“To answer your question, no. I haven’t. My lips are a clean slate”

(Dirty them with your love, Simon)

(Etch yourself into my skin)

(I’m yours for the taking forever and always)

Simon’s eyes flutter open and for a moment our gazes hold as he refuses to fight back in my grasp. I hunker down any hopes that this might turn out the way I want as he finally wiggles out of my hand and we sit in silence beside each other. 

Simon -

His slender fingers are curling around my wrist. With everything happening so quickly, I almost let out a squeak. Baz was never this daring! Our beds were our own private sanctuaries we unofficially vowed never to cross into. But lord, if I could utter it aloud, I’d say that this was more comfortable than I first imagined. 

Our breathes match for a moment as my eyes travel to his. So he was going to make up for his rudeness? That was a first too. At his answer my mouth gapes in surprise. Nobody has kissed him, or vice versa? That was another shocker. I mean this was Baz we were talking about! One of the most famous students to walk the halls at Watford! Not even a little peck? 

I accept the answer and reclaim my pillow into my lap. 

“How about you?”

My head snaps up and I stifle a bittersweet chuckle. While Baz must have been serious, he couldn’t help it. “You honestly think anyone would want to do anything remotely intimate with a firecracker like me? Nah….never in a million years would I be that lucky”. Words tumble from my lips as he feel the sting of a tear in my eye.

Agatha had left me, as I had anticipated for a while now. How many months had I been single now? The count was too much to keep up with now. Penny was just about the only one who was there in my life anymore too. Bless her, she did her best to console me when the breakup occurred but I put up my mask like I did timelessly before and now I keep it bottled up inside. So now the question is, why did I just lay it all out for Baz? He could never have empathy for me. He’s never once shown it and he’d rather have me dead in a ditch than listen to my squawking. 

Baz - 

Your loneliness matches mine, Simon. More than you’d ever imagine, in fact!

I’ll grace your lips one hundred, one thousand, infinitely if it means you were mine. 

I don’t deserve someone as breathtaking as you, yet I’ll prove myself worthy if I can bring a smile to your face. Let me take you far away from this wretched place; away from this horrid destiny that’s binding us.

We’ll run and run and run until our soul are too restless for the fight and we’ll love each other how we truly should have for years now. The sorrow that floods me as I sit here is too much to bear. I’m going to burst!

Taking Simon into my arms, I grit my teeth. “Quit selling yourself short, Simon!” I suddenly bark.

I feel him tense up immediately and I loosen my hold on him. Is that….him laughing?

I lower my eyes to find him just giggling to himself, amidst the tears streaming down his cheeks. Had he gone mad? “Uh….?”

“You called me Simon….you really did it, Baz….!” he squeaks out

My toes curled shyly and I slap a hand over my mouth. In my fury I didn’t even realize it….oh Crowley end me right now. “I...I didn’t...you misheard!” I retort but the way his fingers find their way to my shirt renders me silent. Their twisting and pawing take my breath away.

(More, more, more)

(Strip me down and set my skin a-flame)

I shyly cough away my nerves and try to swerve the conversation back on track. “Anyone would be lucky to kiss you, Simon. You may be a major twat but you’re still worthy of love and affection. So….just….stop being so self-loathing…”

Simon -

“You called me Simon….you really did it, Baz…!” I chirped, caught up in the moment of it all. 

Oh good god the way Baz’s cheeks lit up radiantly in that moment was the most mesmerizing sight I’d ever had the pleasure of witnessing. He may be wicked and cold most of the time, but I just can’t shake this enamour. This is the Baz I’d dreamt of. One that was vulnerable and open! 

I listen to his stuttering as I wipe away the last of my tears. “Alright, alright...if you say so” he murmur. I take in a faint breath and press my fingers against the fabric of his shirt. The scent of cinnamon is so subtle but it’s lovely and it’s Baz and I can’t believe I’m almost in his lap too. Baz doesn’t seem against this whole breaking-of-the-personal-bubble business so I stay in my place.

Smiling sheepishly I lift my head. “I….probably need practice if I’m...ever going to impress someone….enough to make them want all this, huh?”

Will he catch my hint? Or maybe just shoo me away from being too forward. The latter seems more likely, well, until Baz is leaning in unconsciously. I gravitate towards him, smoothing my fingers over his waist. 

Baz -

Simon Snow is dancing terribly close to the edge of no return. I find myself drawing closer and closer and closer until we’re mere breathes apart from each other. (Just kiss me till I’m numb, hurry!) I let loose my inhibitions and oh Crowley I’m going to regret this.

My lips grace his own and never in my life had I felt more fulfilled. I mean I’m living out my wildest dreams and I swear on my undead heart that Simon’s pushing back too? He’s...he’s actually returning it! I cup his cheeks softly, my fingers gliding over the adorable moles on his cheek. (I consider them my North Stars)

After a moment we part and I rest my forehead against his. “Well this throws a wrench in my whole plan to kill you then huh” I tease, but clearly Simon’s not finding it humorous in the least. I wave a hand defensively and kiss the edge of his lips again

(I want to taste of every inch of you)

(I’d worship you until the end of my days)


End file.
